Okay so this is going to be a little more feisty than my regular posts but these thoughts started when I got engaged. I’ve shared many of these thoughts to my friends and family, as they’ve gotten hitched. Real talk time. So for the brides, for the grooms, here we go.
1. It’s about both of you, first.
Not just one of you. Not your family. Not a family member that may or may not be around in the future. It’s about both of you. So, discuss what’s important to the two of you as a jumping off point.
Should you consider everyone else second? Absolutely. Your guests are important too. Plus, there’s no better feeling than everyone invited raving about your wedding for years to come.
If you don’t want to consider anyone else at all having a good time too (I get it, no judgment), then look into eloping or tying the knot at city hall. If all that you want to worry about is making the two of you happy, keep it to just two and maybe have a party later. See the next point.
2. You don’t have to have “The Wedding”
Times are changing and so is the idea of a big blow out for everyone you know. Keep it small. Make it tiny. Just go to city hall and have a party at a cool restaurant. Want to skip the sit-down meal? Go for it. Want to get married in a park and have a picnic? Cool, invite me, please. Tired of getting favours that end up in the trash? Skip em!
If you ain’t traditional screw the traditions. From personal (and friends of mine’s) experience you might get a lot of slack from people about skipping what’s expected. But as long as you consider ways for friends and family to have fun or celebrate in some way it’ll all work out.
3. Not everyone can DIY
And not everyone should! There’s no harm in buying, borrowing, or skipping those Pinterest crafty bits altogether. Not sure if you’re going to go the DIY route?
Answer the next few questions honestly. Then I suggest getting your partner or a close friend to answer them about you too so you can get a little bit of honest perspective.
Am I a procrastinator?
Am I organized?
Do I have time to do these things?
Do I go out of my way to do and complete crafty activities for fun?
Do I have any skill whatsoever with a paintbrush/glue gun/flower arranging/baking, etc.
Can I create and stick to a schedule?
If you answered no to any of the above, you know who you are — so roll with it! Order that shit or tap in the pros.
4. You can say no
I mean if you said no to the proposal I guess, that’s cool too.
But my point is you’re allowed to say no when expectations come at you from every angle. Use the power of rationalization here, chances are people just don’t see things from the same point of view as you. For example, your family members might be horrified at the idea of skipping favours. But explain your point of view, what you’re doing instead, and why it better reflects you two as a couple.
5. Be kind
To yourself, to friends and family, and to your vendors. If you’re stressed ask for help. Say thank you when your friends and family rise to the occasion. If you need a day to not talk about “the day” go do something fun and pretend you ain’t getting married.
If you had a bit of a freakout, say sorry to those involved and be sincere. Same goes for if you made a huge mistake someone had to help you fix. Thank your vendors maybe with a little card. There’s a lot of emotions tied up in weddings so just try to treat everyone with kindness and act like a grown up which means say sorry when needed.